My Daughter Cried

This morning I felt one of the greatest joys a father could ever feel. My daughter… cried. I know, I know. It’s cruel to take pleasure in something that causes your child pain, but, it really did warm my heart. I guess I should also explain why she cried. She cried because I was leaving. After hugging her in the morning and spending a little bit of time with her, it was time for me to go. So I put her down. As soon as she was out of my arms, she cried. Immediately. There was no hesitation on her part. She wanted her daddy.

It was cute the way she was crying, too. She just stood there. She didn’t flop down and have a temper tantrum, flailing her arms and legs. She just stood there, crying. Mouth wide open, eyes closed with tears streaming down. I waved bye-bye to her and she waved back. She even managed to say a short ‘bah bah,’ which is her way of saying bye. But she never stopped crying. She knew I had to go, but she just didn’t want to see me leave. It really, truly warmed my heart. It pained me because I had to go, and I wanted to stay and be with her, too. From now on though, I know that my daughter loves me. Because she cried.

1 Year

My little girl turned one not too long ago. We finally finished celebrating yesterday. We had 4 separate parties for her. The first came in August with my mother’s side of the family. She wasn’t even 11 months yet at that point. She had her very own cake made for her, but didn’t really dig into it like everyone was hoping. She just tenderly touched the cake, inspecting it to see what it was.





The next celebration came on her real birthday. Mommy, Daddy and baby girl celebrated together. They went to VIPS (an all-you-can-eat buffet chain in Korea) so daddy could have ribs. She got to sample lots of different foods; she even tried ribs! She loved to chew on the bones after daddy finished them off. Sometimes she feels like a pet…

She tried so many new foods and seemed to relish the opportunity of eating whatever she wished. She had pineapple and litchy fruit for the first time ever. She loved litchy fruit - who doesn’t? Some waitresses came and gave the three of us some silly hats to wear and then sang a jazzed up happy birthday song for her. After the meal she went into the kids’ playroom and ran around screaming excitedly. She was so happy to be with other kids, and we were shocked at just how well-behaved she was with other children, no matter what the other kids were doing. After VIPS, our family went back to our apartment to have cake. Mommy and daddy sang happy birthday and then let baby girl play with her cake. She really liked it.



The next celebration was the big one with all of her Korean family and friends. We rented a room at the same buffet place that mommy and daddy got married at. More than 50 people showed up to celebrate with us! Daddy made a video for his daughter, and there were some ‘MC’s’ who danced and ran the program. A table was placed out for her which contained some objects which symbolize possible paths for baby to take in the future. Among the items were a microphone, mouse, pencil, money and stethoscope. She was supposed to choose one item. The microphone meant she would be a singer, the mouse meant she’d work in some capacity with computers, the pencil meant she’d do something with education, money meant she’d be rich, and the stethoscope, well, obviously meant she’d be a doctor. When asked what we’d prefer baby to choose, mommy said money and daddy said the pencil. As it would turn out, she chose the pencil, and daddy couldn’t have been happier!




The last and final celebration came yesterday with people from church here in Busan. About 30 people came over! We had cake and ice cream, watched a video and opened gifts. She really dug into her cake this time. She loved it! She got it all over her face, arms and legs. She was so good with everyone and was hamming it up for some of the girls.

Our little girl is now a year old. It’s so hard to believe that a year has already passed. She’s developing well, getting cuter by the day, and making mommy and daddy laugh so hard every day. Her name, Charissa, means joy. Over the past year she has displayed how aptly she is named, as she has been a constant source of joy to those whom she meets. We brought her into school one day, and one of the teachers told me that seeing Charissa helped her get through the long night of work she had to do.

We love you little girl, and we’re still praying that you’ll grow up to know the joy of honouring and serving the Lord. You are in our hearts always, and we’re so proud and humbled to be your parents.

Waste not, want not

The break is officially over. I’m back working again, back ‘into the swing of things,’ by which I assume means back into the usual routines of my daily life. You may have noticed that just after I said I was going to try and blog about once a week, I suddenly stopped posting blogs. I was going on vacation and decided that entailed everything in my normal life, including writing. It was a much needed break, one that has left me loathe to get back into my duties and responsibilities as a husband, father, Christian and employee.

My lack of desire to really get grinding to work again has caused me to start thinking about wasting time. I asked myself the question, ‘what if i lived every day without wasting any time at all?’ The mere thought of it causes me to feel tired and heavy. Reflecting on this question has led me to believe that I approach my days with an unconscious desire to simply kill time. I seem to be constantly looking for ways in which to distract my mind, to ‘get through my day.’ It's funny, too, because if you were to ask me, I'd probably tell you I was really busy now. I sometimes come to the end of the work day and think to myself, 'oh no! I have so much left to get done!' Then I think back on how I spent my day and see lots of wasted time. I guess it's a case of waste not, want not. If I didn't waste the time to begin with, I wouldn't be begging for more time to finish things. I hope the microcosm of 1 day doesn't hold true for the sum total of my life!

Reading biographies of great Christian men such as Robert C. Chapman and George Mueller have led me to believe that a pretty common thread in the lives of godly Christian men and women is a constant drive to use their time for godly pursuits. It seems to me that a key to godliness is using all of the time available to us in connection with the Lord. Not only this, but it seems to me almost as though by holding back and wanting to ‘waste time,’ we’re actually holding something away from God.

Imagine spending every free moment of the day thinking on portions of Scripture you’ve been memorizing or talking with the Lord? I can’t. It’s a terrible thing to admit, but I can’t imagine giving every moment of the day over to God. I’ve spent a lot of time talking as though I’ve been doing it, and I think at one point in my life I actually was, but not now. It seems to me like it would be too burdensome to always be thinking spiritually. It seems like it would cost me my friends, yes even my church friends, if I were to live like that.

Though it does seem like that is what God has called us to do...

Let your anger flow like molasses

There have been many different minor issues floating through my head lately. None of these has really taken up a significant amount of time, I’ve only thought about them in passing. There has not been a major issue that has taken up my time as of late, and that’s probably because I’ve just been too lazy to put in the time to think through an issue to completion. Only having minor, passing ideas filling my head makes it difficult to write on anything with meaning. There is however, one concept which I believe I can offer up some worthwhile statements about: patience.

I am not a patient person. I find myself getting frustrated easily. Sometimes I feel like the pot is always about to explode, like I could just spew a string of vitriolic phrases without a second thought. I get ticked by people’s driving. I become bitter by the lack of courtesy shown me by others. I make quick judgements about people’s behavioural patterns and cannot seem to find any spot of grace in my attitude toward them. I also get frustrated by my quickness to be frustrated. In short, I am not a patient person.

Something has begun to change though. A thought has seemed to creep in unnoticed. The thought hasn’t been pondered on yet but it seems to have permeated the way I view relationships now. Slowly but surely I seem to be growing in patience. I seem to be able to offer true forgiveness, I seem to be able to disagree without growing incensed that the other person doesn’t agree. I’ve grown comfortable with allowing others to be accountable before God and not me. The thought, although a small one has nevertheless begun to transform my attitude toward other people. That God, in His patience, continues to work on me to transform me into Christ’s image. Although I continue stubbornly to refuse Him and to walk in my own ways, He has patience with me to bring me to where He wants me to be.

Grace - patience - has been given to me. God has refused to allow my rebellion to permanently ruin me. He has allowed the consequences of my rebellion to affect me, but He has never beat me into the ground because of it. He’s never told me I’ve run out of chances. He has patiently given me what I need when I need it, and patiently tried to teach me the lessons I need to know. I can’t imagine being the kind of teacher that God is. He’s willing to review the same thing with me over and over and over again. I’m sure He’ll keep reviewing the same lessons with me until I fully understand them. What a great God we serve! This grace - patience - that He’s extended to me has subtly begun to have an affect on me so that I now am trying to be gracious and patient myself. My confident prayer is that God will patiently continue to teach me this lesson.