So I’ve set a goal for myself to write a blog once a week. It’s not really a firm resolution, rather just a loose ideal I’d like to maintain. I wouldn’t be particularly crushed if I were to miss a week or two here or there. The problem is though, as with most things, when I began to make small excuses here or there to not do something I’ve previously decided I want to do, it often leads to abandoning the task altogether. It seems that the small instances of not fulfilling goals tend to be the small cracks in the windshield that grow and eventually shatter the glass. Certain things tend to be easier to fulfill. The things that simply require me doing something non-creative. Things like prayer, reading or studying. Goals involving these kinds of things are simple to fulfill; all you have to do is do them! Not fulfilling them can usually be directly linked to laziness. But what about creative goals? Things like painting, writing or composing music? These things can really pose quite a different problem. Even if you set aside the time to do them, you may just find yourself at a loss for what to write or paint about, or how your composition should come together. Particularly with my goal to blog, I’ve faced the problem of what to do when I have nothing to say!
So here I am. I have literally nothing to say, but you’re still reading this as if I did have something to say. You half-expect to unearth some rare jewel of wisdom by the act of my reflecting on nothing in particular. You think to yourself, ‘He can’t possibly write about absolutely nothing!‘ Yet here I am, and I assure you I’m only reflecting on my problem of having nothing of worth to write about. My soul doesn’t feel like singing the praises of the rain that’s finally coming here, nor does it feel up to the task of pondering the great mysteries of life and faith. I just feel kind of tapped. I have some studying I need to do, I have some reading I can get done and I have a few other menial tasks that I can attend to perfectly well right now. What I can’t do is offer any insights into life at all - except maybe this one: there are times when we have nothing to say.
Over the last few years I’ve learned that it’s okay for me to be quiet. Not only is it okay to be quiet, but it’s actually preferred that I don’t add my thoughts on issues that I haven’t spent any quality time thinking through. By speaking I render myself vulnerable to being wrong. It’s okay to be wrong, but it’s not okay to be wrong while offering advice to other people. ‘I don’t know.‘ Those three words have become a regular part of my speech over the last few years. I don’t know but I’m being honest enough with you and myself to admit my lack of knowledge.
If you don’t really know me well, you won’t understand how big a deal this is for me. I used to pride myself on knowledge. The irony of that is that I prided myself on knowledge when I had next to none. Now I can gladly say that I’m not sure about the right answer on particular issues, but I’ll do my best to find the answer. I’m now convinced that I do know some things (a very little still), because I searched for the answers when I realized I didn’t know.
So what is this blog about? The random prattlings of a confused man? Maybe. The whole point of this blog entry was to answer the question, ‘what do you do when you have nothing to say?’ I can confidently say that the answer is this:
I don’t know.